As people see, my face is in a frown,
time as i know is widing down.
the sand hits the bottom fast,
the first day is now the last.
four years is gone by,
look how time fly.
Time is now
smaller
small.
Manuel R. Period # 8
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18 comments:
I like this poem because of the fact that as you were talking about losing time the poem went down. Its IMAGERY!
ok I think you are talking about highschool.
if so that was very creative.
you made your whole poem a metaphor.
i also saw great syntax.
The first comment was from Sydney B
Thats defintley speaking to seniors. Jasmine J
the 2nd comment was by jenae b
YOUr poem is a metaphor and could be a little bit of imagery becuase your showing how time is ticking and how the time is finally here..u kilt it! i like it
~Jasmine W
i can dig it..the structure of the poem gives it glare
kameron bender
I like the fact how you talked about how time was running out in your poem and instead of like drawing a picture through your words and the way you speak you showed the image in the format of your poem
Kiki made the comment about your imagery through the format ok
I like this poem because it shows how time is broken down little by little
Steven H.
this poem is too cute. i like the metaphors and the imagery. one metaphor that stuck out to me was "the sand hits the bottom fast" and if i'm not mistaken that is referring to an hour glass running out. also like the structure of the poem how your lines get shorter and shorter.
Simone S.
YOUR POEM IS OUTSTANDING. YOU HAVE GREAT STANZA AND WONDERFUL RHYTHEM. NOT MUCH IMAGERY. YOU SHOULD'VE USE SOME IN THIS POEM. IT WOULD'VE BROUGHT IT RIGHT OUT
ASHLEY BREWER 8TH POSTED THE LAST COMMENT
I love the way you typed up this poem u used a staircase like typing. you used great imagery when you said; the sand hits the bottom fast.you also used a rhyme scheme of a/b.I also liked the title of time running out.
Amaris J.
The imagery in this poem ex. the structure of the poem is fierce. Brotha u a good writer. Your entire poem is a metaphor because u compare life to time and time to life. Like I said though great job and I look forward 2 reading more from u .
I liked it because it was short and different and "look how time fly" is a metaphor. Keep up the good work!
Amen-Rah Smith
I LOVE IT!!!
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